


Catena

by afroprincessofprocrastination



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Attempted Murder, Attempted Murder-Suicide, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Instability, Other, dark themes, graphic depictions of rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 13:48:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7465758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afroprincessofprocrastination/pseuds/afroprincessofprocrastination
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fear corrupts.<br/>If absolute power corrupts absolutely, then fear is its poisonous shadow lurking in the hearts and minds of the victimized. The darkness of shadows is two-dimensional.<br/>Where there is fear, there is anger, rage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catena

**Author's Note:**

> This story is pretty dark and probably not for the faint of heart. This is my first time writting in the naruto fandom and writing such dark themes. read at your own risk.  
> ***I'll be combing through this later to search for any errors
> 
> this goes out to yall who fed my sadism,yall know who yall are.
> 
> also heres the links to the dances i had in mind because they entertained me more than traditonal traditional  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDARrFe5DOc   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhUDkoX6y28&index=2&list=LLWYve1vmOe12H7RDfeFFRsg

Catena  
Among many others, catena is the Latin word for chain, shackle and restraint.  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Fear corrupts.

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, then fear is its poisonous shadow lurking in the hearts and minds of the victimized. The darkness of shadows is two-dimensional.  
Where there is fear, there is anger, rage.

Fear morphs to anger, anger to rage, numbness...and then to fear of what one is becoming, until it sits like acid in the bellies of those victimized by power. Eating one up on the inside until finally they are corroded into something new, dangerous…and in pieces.

At the hands of the main house, Neji learns this the hard way.

His mouth always gets him in trouble; it starts every fight between himself and his uncle.

“You have a mouth on you, do you know that?” Hiashi sneers at him.

Neji to his credit merely turns his head back to set his fiery gaze on his uncle, as if Hiashi had not just popped him in the mouth so suddenly his head hadn’t whipped back from the force of it. Blood beaded at the right corner of his mouth, his teeth had nicked his lip when Hiashi’s hand had dealt punishment to his face.  
It stung, and the taste of his own blood on his tongue was like oil on fire. He grit his teeth, skin pulling taut around his mouth and pain flared along his jaw. His lips pulled back over his lips and he would bare his fangs if he had them. His white teeth stained red as he glared up at his uncle. Stubbornness pushed into his features; setting his face, he would not take back his words. He would not apologize, or be silenced.

Both of them studied each other ruthlessly, choosing which cards to play to draw blood.  
The dojo was their arena today.

Granted any part of the compound could become their stage at a moment’s notice. Both of them eradicating the illusion of peace within the compounds with a few carefully selected snarks, and backhanded comments, it was like they wanted to fight endlessly. The ponds turned to lava. Together they made dynamite. Branch members stiffened, and those of the main house looked on in boredom or with a slight pinch to their eyes. Those two could shoot fire at each other like hellcats. It did not help they were just a like. Stubborn as hell, wanting to have the last word.

“I will never shut up about this. You have the power to change this, you choose to let things continue. To slide” Neji voice a barely concealed growl.  
“I’m sick of going back and forth with you over this matter every day Neji,” Hiashi uttered darkly.”I do not have the patience for you petulant attitude today. Endlessly every day, your mouth will get you into trouble. You’d be wise to remember your place in this clan. And damn well know mine,” Hiashi finished coldly, ticking his chin up to look down at Neji as if he were a disobedient child.

It made his blood boil.

“I’m not your lapdog,” Neji started low, voice taking on an edge Hiashi knew all too well. “I’m not a servant; I refuse to let this clan rule me.” Fist clenching, he knew he should stop there, but his mouth was spilling out the words he knew he should have kept locked in his throat. He was shouting before he knew it.

“And I’m not a puppet, or one of the main houses little fuck toy-!” Neji choked off as, Hiashi’s hand clasped over his throat quick as a tigers jaw. He’d moved so quickly it had stunned him into silence.

That had knocked Hiashi’s head back however, insinuating that the main house abused their power to such a degree that they inflicted sexual violence onto the branch in addition to manipulation via fear was crossing the line.

“Watch your mouth,” Hiashi had leaned in with a sneer, before he seemed to come back to himself. He snatched his fingers from Neji’s throat as if burned. Switching instead to grasp his chin like a parent would do their child who’d have run off at the mouth.

Neji glared all he could with his face scrunched up, cheeks smashed forward like a petulant child.. He kept his mouth closed, despite the anger making words cram in his throat. Seeing this, he felt Hiashi give his face a squeeze.

A warning….

And yet.

“My father died for this clan…”Neji spoke past the lump in his throat, “and yet..You still dishonor his memory by doing nothing. Its why he wanted nothing to do with you all those years,” he uttered poison dripping off every word; years later the mention of his father every now and then would still bring a pain Neji had long since thought had healed. Maybe because they walked paths so similar…

Neji knew the mention of his father was a hit below the belt. Hiashi knew that too and yet they always sought to draw the most amount of blood out of each other when they collided. Hiashi’s grip tightened like talons on his face as he angled him up to look him in the eye squarely.

'He needs to hear all of it…what he allows through inaction'

“Your father never expected the clan to change,” Hiashi spoke, voice orotund. “He accepted that. Not under my leadership, not under our father’s. It’s a pill he learned to swallow as did the rest of the clan, myself included,” He impressed the words on Neji.

“I-“

“Shut up,” Hiashi hissed. “You’ve forgotten your place. My good graces only last so long. Your mouth is going to get you in trouble I cannot save you from, should a main house member discipline you out of my sight. I suggest you keep it shut.” Hiashi shoved him away at that, crossing his arms and looking at Neji, hooding his eyes as he raised his chin.  
“Get out of my sight. I have trained you, taken you under my wing teaching you, a branch child, techniques forbidden to you, and yet you insult me claiming I take no action.” Hiashi snorted. “Childish. More…you always want more”

Neji grit his teeth.

“Prodigy or not, you belong to this clan.”

'''I own you”…. Just fucking say it neji thought.

“I feel as though that title has made your head swell. Rather than voice your tired complaints like an adult you’d rather behave like an immature genin. It’s getting old,” Hiashi smirked at him then, condescension dripping on each word. ‘‘Your father provided the best example for you of your role. Accept it, it is done. He decided for you what would happen to you long ago.”

Hiashi’s words were like acid in old wounds. He’d really pissed Hiashi off using his twins sacrifice as a weapon against him. It didn’t help that Hiashi could twist that same weapon back onto him. Flaying skin and peeling at scabs. They both knew what buttons to push to get the reactions they wanted.

Both were barely reigning in their anger and Neji decided he would take his leave.

Inside they were both bleeding; outwardly, they wore the same hard and closed look they had both learned as children to wear.

Leaving he thought of flinging more acid of his own in Hiashi’s eyes, rip him up liked he had just torn into Neji, but decided against it biting his tongue.

'Always having to bite my tongue..' neji sneered internally.

He had a feeling what he would have said next would have had him on the ground, brow on fire.

He’d barely stopped himself from slamming the door as he crossed its threshold, anger radiating off him with every step away. His uncle, decided to drop the cold look as he passed him, instead settling a disinterested look on his face as he gazed at his nephew, knowing it would annoy him.

How a late morning spar could so quickly turn into this Neji would always be amazed. Tsking in annoyance he reached up to thumb away some of the blood on his lip and the corner of his mouth. Hiashi had popped him good. His jaw would surely bruise later. Briskly walking away from the central dojo, he knew it was probably coloring red as a tomato right now. A quick henge or hijacking some of Hinata’s concealer later would hide it just fine. He couldn’t feel bothered till later. His pace slowed to a stop as he neared the unseen boundary of where the large main house looked across at the central branch house quarters.

The central main house was where Hiashi, his close family, and the elders resided, as well as a few choice main house members. It was as large and imposing as the clan could manage without coming off completely arrogant. Not that they truly cared, but this clan loved to toe the edges of everything, even blood relation. The central branch house was where the selected guards and members of the branch house resided in order to closely serve their main house masters. It was settled just as impressively as the main house across a nice cut that housed a beautiful garden. That marked their separation. Unknowing to any visitors but a clear sign for branch members. No branch members ever relaxed in those gardens, choosing instead to hang around the balconies and verandas of the house. Neji’s quarters pretty much straddled the boundary.

Although housed on the side of the main house, it still served as a reminder of both his status and his place in the clan. It was paradoxical, his status as prodigy and nephew of the clan head gave him the perk of living technically in the main house, but its proximity to the branch house could not be denied right across from him. It was really a gray area. Reflective of how Hiashi felt about him more than anything. He hadn’t always lived there. Ensconced in the quiet of that room. He used to live in that branch house. Amongst the hustle and scurrying feet of branch members whom kept the inner mechanisms and mechanics of the clan working smoothly at their expense.  
It had changed after the chuunin exams.

He’d returned some time after the second attempt at Hinata’s kidnapping to find all of his things moved to the room at the border on Hiashi’s orders. Hoheto had informed him of the switch as well as with an order to report to training early that morning with Hiashi. As he settled in his new room, Hyuga Yuki of the main house had stopped by, offering him a warm smile and congratulations.

He had never asked Hiashi why and Hiashi had never given him an answer, letting him speculate and draw his own meanings.

Despite that, gossip had gotten out about dissent amongst main house members. Some had loudly opposed, others didn’t seem to care otherwise. Hyuga Hira had offered a scathing dissent. Yuki had reasoned with other members and the council reminding them that the area was really a gray area and that it wasn’t really a problem. He’d already been marked, he knew his status despite Hiashi’s good will. It seemed to satisfy some but not others, especially Hira. Hiashi had shut every one up with a look.

Hira always had it out for him. That was nothing new. Main house members always seemed to have some kind of vendetta against different members of the branch, rather for a reason no matter how petty, or need to exhibit their control or none at all. However, it was strange Yuki had seemed to speak up for him. He did the same for Tokuma, granted Tokuma seemed to be one of his favorite branch members. 

'It’s strange he’d look out for me though…' neji thought, brows pulling together.

Tokuma always ran out and did the man’s errands and bidding. Neji had never had a conversation with the man. Granted Neji did spend a lot of his time with Tokuma. Perhaps he just wanted to help him because of his association with Tokuma. The man was older, older than Hiashi, but his face still held youth.

'Selective breeding..' he mused.oh dry humor

The man would swipe sweets for him and Tokuma when they were younger. And he treated them both kindly even now. Neji just chalked it up to some kind of guilt over Hizashi’s death, and later by extension to his proximity with Tokuma. 

Neji blinked, focusing his glazed look on the garden as he leaned against the beam in front of his room. His mind had wandered off he realized. He hadn’t paid any attention to the fact that he’d reached his destination. Still he let it wander again. Leaning his weight on the beam as he thought of how his father had watched after Tokuma after the boy’s mother had died.

“She died of a broken heart Neji-chan…” his father had mumbled thickly.

Neji discovered years later that she had hung herself, after unsuccessfully trying to kill her only child by overdosing him on sleeping pills.

“She wanted peace for herself and him….she loved him too much to…” his father had choked off, looking at him so sadly Neji could practically taste the pain in his voice now. “she thought she was doing a kindness to him..” he had pulled Neji into his lap and stroked the little boys hair. Neji didn’t recall much after that, only that his father had taken him to a lake shortly after the incident…

Not liking the direction his thoughts were taking him he turned toward the direction of the front gate doubling back on the path he’d taken from the dojo, as if he could physically turn away from the thoughts. He exited off the veranda into the main courtyard before he reached the main hall of the dojo. Making a beeline for the main gate, it was late in the morning and Neji recalled Gai saying they would be training that morning. Neji had responded that Hiashi was planning to oversee his training that day but he would see where the morning took him. It appeared it would be taking him to the training grounds their team frequented. Neji snorted, a smile tugging at his lips.

It was woodier than the grounds team kakashi had claimed as their own, encompassed in wood and quiet. Perfect for meditating. Also perfect for himself and his team mates to practice their trades. Gai had said he’d picked it just so they could exercise their hot blooded youth. He chuckled a little recalling Lee’s enthusiastic yells.  
Nearing the gate he almost ran straight into Yuki.

“Oh” the man sounded a little surprised.

Neji stepped back and bowed, just enough that he would not get called disrespectful. Yuki set his hand on his shoulder pushing slightly to get him to straighten. Neji straightened, looking up at the man regarding his face slowly, eyes sliding to his mouth. He was tall, almost lanky, his torso long with narrow hips. His hair was just past his shoulders and a dull sandy brown. His mouth has wide setting his face in a way that he always appeared as if he was frowning, but all the man truly did was smile. His nose was wide but slightly crooked and Neji wondered what had happened to him that set his nose like that. Except now, he was scrutinizing the damage on Neji’s face, tilting his chin up towards the light so he could see better with his thumb index finger. 

Behind him, he shot the branch woman a quick glance. The woman was beautiful. Her hair long and dark, a deep indigo color reminding Neji of Hinata’s mother. She was clutching a small bundle in her hands and on second glance, Neji realized it was a baby. Her full breasts and slightly distended stomach giving her a kind, soft look despite the narrowing her eyes did as she shot Yuki a look behind his back. She nodded at Neji.

“Ýuki-sama we must be going. You said that you had matters to attend to before the festival tonight,” the woman started. Her voice was soft, feminine but carried strength she did not show in her body language. She looked closed off, clutching the child to her chest.

“Yes…” the man said at length. He arched his thumb to stroke just a long the tender stretch of Neji’s jaw. Cool fingers following the line of his jaw. The man was watching him something in his eyes… “Tell me, where did you get this?”The man inquired, finally dropping his hand away brushing through the ends of the soft strands framing Neji’s face.

“Hiashi-sama.”

The man nodded. He need not ask anything more.

“I do hope you will cover it before tonight’s events, it is a joyous occasion, and I’m sure Hiashi would rather not gaze upon your face and see that, you will be in attendance in the main courtyard, correct” the man stated nonchalantly. 

“Yes Yuki-sama.”

Again he shot him that same indecipherable look as he dropped his gaze back to the corner of Neji’s mouth, eyes tracing the cut.  
The man made to walk past him, the woman inclining her head in a quick nod to him as she passed him quickly. There was something off about her…  
“Oh by the” the man stopped a short pace away, turning to look at Neji over his shoulder. “Have you seen Tokuma by any chance?”  
“No Yuki-sama, I do recall he is to be returning from a mission before tonight’s events,” Neji replied offering nothing more or less of information.  
The man nodded taking his leave; the woman shot Neji another look before following after Yuki.

Strange…..

Neji turned and exited the compound.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
The sun was painting the sky orange by the time Neji felt he should go back to the compound to get ready for that nights events.

A late morning spar turned to heavy training, then lunch, then more training. By the time, the team had finished they had decided to talk and lounge under one of the large trees. Soon the days training began to weigh on them and after nonverbally designating “human pillow” they had settled in a group nap.

Gai had said it always amused him how they designated that day’s pillow without a word. Gai had then teared up about their teamwork, moving in to grab them all in a bone-crushing hug. Nobody had gotten his or her late afternoon nap that day.

It was Lee’s turn today.

Ten-ten had beaten him to cushioning the back of her head in the curve of Lee’s spine. Leaving Neji to rest his head on Lee’s right calf.

Lee had collapsed face down before groping back with one hand to undo his leg weights, freeing the limb for Neji’s use. Neji had settled, but not before voicing his complaint, Ten-Ten had laughed at him. He preferred resting his head on the back of whoever was designated pillow, liking to toss his long mane over the opposite side so he wouldn’t be laying on it or get caught. His hair always got tangled in Lee’s sandals to his dismay and god forbid that time his hair had tied itself into a literal knot around Lee’s weights. Neji loosened a sigh, deciding to let the sky paint itself into purples before leaving the company of his team. Watching the slow twinkle of stars begin to make their appearance, he knew the moon would hang bright and heavy in the sky. 

The Hyuga would celebrate in its glow.

Lee and Ten-Ten had asked him about the “Hyuga moon festival” as they so called it. Neji had regaled them with a decent regurgitation of something about their ancestors, space and the moon… something like that, Neji honestly could not remember and he didn’t really care, he hadn’t really been listening to the story as a child. To concerned with finding his father before he got into one of his sad moods. Ancestors from space sounded like a bad opioid trip, and much of the clan agreed silently with his opinion. Granted they followed tradition to a tee. The mark on his forehead was proof of that.

Just like the Senbon sparring ritual, Ten-ten had concluded that the Hyuga, like all other old noble clans just had strange traditions.

Neji had lightly joked that the story of their clan’s creation was not as strange as the Aburame’s supposed birth from a large celebration and their subsequent day of celebrations.  
Neji rose stretching his arms over his head and popped his back, freeing Lee’s leg in the process. He had to go get ready for tonight. After bidding his teammates farewell he headed straight to the compound, detouring to snatch Hinata’s makeup pouch, he did not feel like expending chakra just to look “presentable”. Neji honestly had no idea why she had it, she rarely ever wore even lipstick, and he seemed to use it more than she did. It would have been funny had it not been a little sad.

After bathing, he donned his kimono. It was a formal occasion and all of the clan would be dressed relatively similar. White kimonos with only purple or grey accents, designs or patterns would be permitted for this event. It all would look so very clean, but also a little eerie. Sometimes members would line their eyes with coal giving either a striking appearance or ghastly one. In the clan there was a running joke: either you’re hot or you’re not. It had even extended to Hiashi and Hizashi in their prime despite them being identical. That always made Neji laugh.

Tonight would be a relatively long but entertaining night. The branch wouldn’t have to walk on as many eggshells that night in any preparations as curse seals were rarely activated so as to respect the peace and their ancestors, and overall the vibe. Neji could remember a few years back when a branch woman’s had been activated during one of the traditional dances. Everyone had blanked on stage promptly after her screams had died down to whimpering. Not many of the branch had felt like continuing on with the night.  
After brushing his hair, he went to tie it back before opting to just wear it free. It would probably tangle later but he would deal with it when the time came. He tied off his headband before exiting his room, checking his kimono one last time. Although many would opt to hide their brows with simple headbands of white, grey or lavender those with ninja status were permitted to wear their headbands.

After paying homage to the moon and the ancestors, the clan would enjoy food and traditional dances together. Granted the whole clan could not fit even in the main court, celebrations would be held throughout the compound. Now that Neji thought about it, it really was almost like a festival. Although it was still very traditional, other than dress code, some things had been allowed to slide. Like the clan head blessing each and every member of the clan. Even some of the dances were cut short or changed to match the times…and even poke fun at members of the clan.

"Love toeing those lines." neji mused expression a little tight.

Neji was just grateful he would not have to perform.

While only the branch performed,except on one special occasion, most everyone in the clan knew the dances.

Selecting who would perform was usually left up to branch representatives or those who volunteered. Neji had been selected as the prodigy of the clan and by how "absolutely dazzling" he would look on stage. Neji had dropped his props on purpose and refused to smile. He had been substituted with Tokuma. Tokuma had thrown his fan and his cane prop across the room. They were both dismissed afterwards.

'Thank kami...' he sighed,relief at that dismal always present each time he thought of it.

He did not want to be ogled at in front of the whole clan by men and women old enough to be his parents. 

'Ugh…'

Heading toward the main courtyard, he felt eyes on him. He could guess who it was.

“You should take a picture it’ll last longer,” he bit out dryly, not even bothering to turn around.

He heard a low chuckle behind him.

“I’d rather just live in the moment for now,” the man said mirth evident in his voice.

Sighing Neji turned, trying but failing to keep his lips from pulling into a smile. Tokuma’s eyes crinkled at the corners and his lips broke way into a warm smile, amusement, dancing in his eyes as he watched Neji try to smother his smile away.

They were dressed similarly in their kimonos. Both donned their standard issue headbands and Tokuma had opted to wear a more decorative tassel at the ends of his bangs. His hair was damp; Neji could tell, the choppy strands curling at the ends. Tokuma canted his weight to the side, and Neji could not help but admire how handsome he looked in his robes, eyes glazing a little as he regarded the man.

“I can’t believe you’re missing the grand procession on this oh so spectacular night,” Tokuma said gesticulating like the host of a television show as he made his way across the porch to stand half in shadow half in light. The light caressed his cheek, setting his eyes a light and highlighting the curve of his jaw.

“Hmm whatever will I do?” Neji drawled, moving toward Tokuma, hips swaying, hair sashaying with the movement, “such a beautiful procession, the music, the lights. It only happens every year. The elders telling us all to be so grateful to be a part of the Hyuga clan,” he paused flicking his thumb at his headband,” I am shivering in anticipation. What if I never hear or see it again” he finished flatly.

“Then it sucks to suck huh?” Tokuma responded, moving past Neji on the porch, dulcet tones edging up at the end with the barest indication of sarcasm. Nevertheless, Neji did not miss the way his eyes had tracked the movement of his hips, a slight thrill running up his spine, smirk tugging at his lips.

It died when Tokuma stopped so suddenly in front of him he almost collided into the man. Taking a step back he looked up at the man.

“Oh and I told you to stop running your mouth to Hiashi-sama,” Tokuma turned around crossing his arms.

Neji balked “How do you even know about that?” As far as he knew, there was nobody around when he and Hiashi had gone for each other’s throats.

Tokuma snorted, “I didn’t but I do now.” Neji rolled his eyes at that crossing his arms.

“I’ve told you about your mouth” he started sternly.

“Thanks senpai, you’ve told me. But he needed to hear everything I said,” he replied.

Tokuma’s brows furrowed. “What did you say?” he inquired mouth tucking down into a frown.

Neji eyed him for a moment, “Don’t worry about it.” Nothing he hasn’t heard before…mostly.

He knew the man would hunt him down later for answers.

Tokuma huffed, blowing his cheeks out before nodding his head lips tight. “I won’t then.”

They scrutinized each other for a minute. 

“Oh and if you’re going to wear concealer, you should try blending it better, “he swiped his thumb along the edge of his jaw, pivoting to walk away. 

Neji could feel the man was upset with his answer and behavior despite claiming he didn’t.

Neji rolled his eyes following the man’s retreating back.  
Neji knew he did, he would worry.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
They sat across from each other on opposite verandas. It was easier to make faces at each other and pass it off as scowling at the décor. Neji looked to the right of Tokuma, Hoheto looked bored to tears. He could just make out that his hands had been painted.

'…Hm.. guard duty tonight…'

Branch members always had to be painted in order to enter the shrine area so as to not upset the ancestors with their branded brows.

Neji had never been required to accompany the main house as they traveled to pay respects to the shrine as a guard. However, his uncle had brought him the year after his father died. It was close to the last snow by then, and Neji could remember the cold biting into his toes. His wife had just died, and that was the only time Neji had seen Hiashi hold any of his children. By that time, he already felt the anger in him at his father’s death, but Hiashi had seemed so… distant. Like he was not present at all. He had held Hanabi in a secure grip, but he remembered how it looked like his arms might give out any moment, Hinata tucked so close to his side, she almost tripped over his feet as they walked. He had bypassed the shrine to the lake, and they had walked out into it to purify. They usually stopped after getting their feet wet. Neji wanted to submerge himself.

Thinking back, that was a hard year or so for his uncle..losing his brother then his wife…granted Neji had lost his whole world so they were even in his mind. 

Hiashi’s world had been rocked but Neji’s had been ripped apart and flung into the sun.

Neji tightened his lips blinking away the memory. Instead, he turned his attention to the left where Hiashi, his cousins and other main house members had seated themselves on the porch.

Surrounded by moonflowers littering the veranda and surrounding balconies an odd sort of beauty colored the compound, but it was kind of eerie Neji admitted to himself. All the white brought even more startling emphasis to their white eyes and lack of pupils.

Tsunade had been invited to sit in on the festival last year, she’d smiled throughout. The next day she had called Neji into her office to talk about the beauty and elegance of the whole event and how absolutely shocking everyone had looked with their white eyes accentuated with “white white white, don’t you guys have any other colors that are less.. less..” she had waved her wrist around looking for the word. She didn’t find it.

Hiashi looked handsome and proud sitting up there flaked by his daughters. Both his and his daughters wore slightly finer silk kimonos, signifying their status as head and next in line.

There would be gossip and pressures to brand one of them before the night ended Neji knew.

The festival truly began pretty traditional an elder speaking, slightly less traditional dancing and more lecture. Neji stifled a yawn, scowling at what the woman was saying. He started to tune her out, narrowing his eyes. He glanced up to see Tokuma giving him a nonverbal but clear look of :

“Fix your face.”

Neji stared him, making it clear that he would not. His lips turned down into even more of a frown.

He could barely make out Tokuma’s eye twitching, before he felt a heated stare on him.

Canting his jaw ever so slightly to Hiashi’s right, over Hinata’s shoulder he could make out Hira shooting him a withering glare. Neji stared straight back at him not backing down. A quick glance around ensured only he Hira and Tokuma were following their exchange. Hiashi’s father had opted to sit on the left with Hanabi, rather than Hinata. A clear signal to all present, while the whole clan would never fit together in the main court, word would get out, it always did.

Hira was glaring at him discontent written all over his face, he ticked his jaw up at the speaker. Neji pointedly ignored his command to redirect his attention in favor of tucking his lip up in disgust as he eyed the man. Expression sour. He saw Hira’s lip twitch. He kept the eye contact before flicking it away.

Tokuma had flattened his lips into a thin line, disapproval directed at Neji. Neji chose to sweep the mocha strands framing his face behind his ear…with his middle finger. The gesture was directed at Tokuma but if Hira took that as an offense then so be it.  
Tokuma bit his lip.

The man was related to him closer than he was related to some of the other members but Neji could not remember how and did not care to find out. He had never so much as spoken to the man but the man seemed to have a perpetual stick up his ass in regards to Neji. The man viewed him as “an insubordinate brat in need of being taught a lesson.” Neji had responded that he had received all the lessons he needed at the academy. Tokuma had rushed over pushing his head into a bow and apologizing for his behavior.  
Tokuma had called him a smartass, and told him how his meager position as prodigy and nephew of Hiashi could only protect him from so much and that Neji more and more was pushing it, and that he needed to at least feign some respect, reminding him that man was known for his hostile power trips.

The only thing the man seemed to offer him were snarky quips, icy criticisms and reprimands so Neji did not deem him worthy of his respect, not even fake respect, so he ignored the man to his chagrin. Their little exchange was especially rude on Neji’s part and he knew he would hear it later, but he did not care at the time. It was honestly just petty. It was rude for Branch members to stare into the eyes of those of higher status than them and he had just did that in addition to rolling his eyes. Oh yeah, he would get an earful later. He knew the man had been taunting him wanting a reaction any excuse to complain about his rudeness but it was nothing new. He would definitely have to avoid Hira for the rest of the night. It would not be too hard seeing as though when the moon was highest in the sky most of the main house here would proceed to the shrine to pay their respects. The branch houses would celebrate more openly with dancing and singing once they were gone. It was always the best part of the night. Loud and filling the compound with echoes of life.

Neji knew the man would be seething about his disrespect for the rest of the night but Neji ignored him, which always made the man madder. He knew he would not activate his curse mark right now, it would be disrespectful to the ancestors and even the elders present, seeing as though justifying a petty reason like “he looked at me funny” would just garner him disdain.

After the main events however….

Neji would avoid him like the plague.  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
And avoid he did.

After staying out of sight as most people of the main house excused themselves Neji had meandered around weaving in and out of the crowds to avoid Hira’s penetrating gaze. It was considered rude to use the byakugan within the compound if one were not training or looking into a disturbance. After a while Neji found himself wandering to the dojo on the backside, away from some of the noisier festivities. Feet brushing softly against the chill wood Neji bit back a shiver. It was quieter here, but one could easily be drowned out with all the background noise.

Its where he found Tokuma, lounging on his back one leg dangling from the veranda as he rounded the corner.

'Fuck…'

He’d hoped he’d be the only one back here.

The man had already changed out of his kimono into a comfortable grey yukata.

Neji contemplated backing up and turning back the way he had come.

“You’re already here so take a seat” Tokuma called out. He hadn’t even looked up. Neji glowered at him. Despite the noise he was sure Tokuma had probably sensed his approach, maybe heard. Like Hiashi. Tokuma knew his footsteps and what his presence felt like. Neji was good, but he still wasn’t on that level. Even though now he was considered the clan prodigy, he had to give Tokuma some credit. While he had watched and practiced secret clan techniques from observation, Tokuma had helped refine them. He was as much his teacher as Hiashi, had been before him. So much so that they had grown unbelievably close…

Neji had jokingly called him senpai and it had stuck. The banter between them easy. They had started spending a lot of their personal time together throughout the years So much so that some branch members suspected something between them, Neji had quickly squashed the rumors before anyone else caught a hold of them. Tokuma had said nothing. He could feel it sometimes, the attraction between each other. Sometimes it was almost palatable, and if either let go…

Neji seated himself on folded legs next to Tokuma. Back straight, pointedly looking at the bamboo fountain nestled in the small garden before them. The tapping of the bamboo like a countdown.

“Is obtaining the ire of every power hungry main house prick a new hobby of yours or do you just love toeing lines so much this is just next level” Tokuma voice just this side of pissed off.

Neji digested the words before responding in the most innocent voice he could muster, fisting his kimono where his fingers rested on his knees “hmph, you always did say I needed a hobby senpai, aren’t you glad I finally took your advice?” Neji tried to keep the attitude out of his voice but it was there anyway.

“You went too far with him”

“The middle finger was for you.”

“I don’t care “ Tokuma growled, “If he even thought it was for him that’s your ass Neji. You know what happens to branch members who disrespect the main house. Hell you know what happens when some of them suspect a challenge to their authority. Will you not be satisfied till they render you a vegetable?” Tokuma asked irately, expression furious. Neji was surprised he hadn’t moved from reclining on his back after that mouthful.

Neji took the words for what they were. He did know. And knowing only made him angrier.  
“I won’t silence my tongue for them, or lower my head” he bit out darkly.

Tokuma sighed “you won’t have a choice in the matter...and they’ll cut it out of you..” Tokuma was speaking softly, his anger deflating suddenly.” Hiashi won’t be able to protect you if they get a hold of you behind his back. Even then he’d be too late… he could punish them but that won’t fix you…they always win.”

Neji closed his eyes. They did always win. And he knew now and even at a young age that Hiashi couldn’t truly protect him. Hell Hiashi was usually the main one causing harm to him. in this clan of vultures and predators, He was always in danger; the mark on his brow was a reminder of that constant danger always.

Silenced surrounded them then. Neji opened his eyes slowly then. He knew there would be a real argument later, their arguments were like a lightly scripted plot, or a hurricane. They were in the eye of it right now. It was safe to relax a moment; loosening a sigh, he let some of the tension flow out of him.

“You’re a handful…,” Tokuma murmured behind him. Neji smiled a little at that, a weak quirk of the lips. 

He could imagine Tokuma’s face right now pained. 

But in the moment he let the artificial peace wash over him, the white flag raised between them as they let their defenses down with each other...just a little. For a moment… Neji thought. The sensation of just being instead of always defending was nice. Then another sensation registered in his senses. Fingers dancing through the ends of his hair. Neji let out a content sigh, a go ahead for the man to keep going. He felt that hand caress through the thick stream of his hair, finding tangles and dislodging them. He felt it quest as high as it could go before the rustling of cloth alerted him to Tokuma sitting up. He turned to meet the man halfway.

They gazed in each other’s eyes as they had done countless times before. Looking into the depths of each other’s eyes as if they could trace the contours of each other’s souls with only their gazes... Tokuma licked his lips as his hands tangled in the strands grazing the right side of Neji’s face, Neji turned a little more into the caress tracking the sweep of his tongue across his lips.

When Tokuma leaned in slowly, he felt his breath hitching a little in his chest. Both their lids hooding. When their lips brushed, Neji parted his lips a little feeling the heat of the man on his lips. Flicking his gaze up, he was reminded that he was staring into pools of white, cloudlike eyes matching his own. Not the burnt sienna of his lover’s… melting him with his eyes. 

Neji set both his hands on Tokuma’s shoulders before pushing him away gently.

Neji saw the rejection sting in his eyes, but he stilled himself against it, heart thumping in his chest.  
“Tokuma.. I-“

“No don’t” Tokuma said, he tried to smile through the hurt but it died on his lips. Neji found it a little harder to swallow.

“Is there another…” Tokuma asked so softly he was almost drowned out by the noise. Neji became aware of how just moments ago it seemed like the world had quieted for them. Receding away to give them a moment with each other…just like it did with Shikamaru...and his heart gave a painful thud.

Neji blinked at him, his eyes mirroring the pained expression, but his face hardened a little.

“Does it matter?” he asked just as softly, his right and reaching across to feather lightly through the end s of Tokuma’s choppy strands. He remembers the day the man had hacked it off with a kunai.

No…boy…not man.

“No..” the man started sadly. Then his expression went back to himself. “But it will if they find out.”

“They won’t” Neji said jaw tightening. If his clan ever found out his relationship with the Nara boy…and that would be the final straw after he announced he would not have children of his own volition for this clan’s disgusting ways. He could never brand his own children…the guilt would surely tear him apart…

Tokuma did smile for him then, a sad ghost of one mouthing the word “fighter” at him.

Neji smiled his expression pulling beautifully and saw Tokuma flick his gaze around his features..filing them away. Neji drew his eyes down a little to the where his fingers played in the strands around Tokuma’s neck and shoulders.

“Why?” he asked, keeping his tone gentle, he felt Tokuma’s shoulders tense a little.

Nonthreatening…

He didn’t really understand why the topic seemed to be a touchy subject to the man. While the long tresses were admired, it wasn’t really a big deal anymore in the clan. Status was denoted by the curse mark anyway. Granted along with forty lashes, the seal and a myriad of other old clan punishments forcibly cutting ones hair in front of the clan was a punishment for a myriad of clan crimes and disrespects.

Tokuma sighed softly, eyes going a little distant gazing past Neji’s shoulder. “Sometimes..you do things you don’t want to do for people that you love…”he trailed off here, ”and sometimes you just need to feel like you have the power to make your own fresh start. Do something by your own hand… just to show that you can” the answer was cryptic. And Neji just barely stopped his brows from furrowing in confusion. H e knew instinctively that they were not talking about the act of him sheering his own hair off, Neji watching through the crack in the bathroom door. But something deeper. He just was not sure what.

He dropped his hand sitting back a little, looking out into the garden. The tapping had returned- a slight lull in the music and mirth carrying on in the background. The main family should be gone at least another hour, it was as if he whole branch side in the main court thought it at the same time. The music returned a little louder, a little looser, less traditional, and more fun. Neji distantly wondered if they would throw powders at each other like they did those years after his father’s and Hiashi’s wife’s death. The compound had grown so cold in those following years, as Neji had descended into a rage and the branch found itself drowning in being forced up against the walls of their own cages. When the watchful eye of the main family had turned away they thrown colorful powders at each other, carefully switching out of their kimonos to yukatas and painted each other. Bringing a little bit of color to their lives. For just a moment, they could all pretend to not be fighting for their own survival.

Sighing again, Neji remembered something.

“Yuki-sama was looking for you earlier.” Neji said nonchalantly. He didn’t see Tokuma’s jaw tightened.

“I’ve spoken with him thanks,” Tokuma replied a little clipped. That earned him a side glance.

Tokuma swallowed “What did he want?” He sounded…weird to Neji’s ears.

“Not much…” Neji responded warily, he was acting strange, “There was a woman with him and he asked for my assistance..” He hoped it sounded vague enough, he really didn’t know what the man wanted, but Tokuma wasn’t playing all of his cards.

“Woman?” That stopped him, before the color drained a little out of his face.

Neji watched him completely thrown off.  
“Tok-“

“Her baby is cute isn’t she. Yuki-sama must be looking after them. He’s a good man, he keeps his word.” Tokuma looked more like he was going to vomit than looking or sounding honest or sincere.

“Trouble follows him though, keep your distance,” He rose with a fake smile plastered to his face. That irked a nerve Neji didn’t know he had.

“Tokuma” he growled, rising to his full height.

“Our conversation earlier isn’t finished either.” He stated so suddenly Neji momentarily forgot the direction of the conversation.

“I mean it, I’ll be back to find you later.” The man parted so swiftly Neji didn’t even get a word out before he was gone.

'I do not have time for this hot and cold shit...'

He didn’t know what the man was getting at, but he knew the man would return later to lecture him. He always did that. Like he needed to consult his book “Parenting 101: dealing with Moody Teens;” reread the chapter before confronting him. Hiashi should borrow that one he thought dryly.

Alone with his thoughts he turned to enter the dojo. It filtered out a lot more of the noise than he thought. Granted with the doors closed it kept sound relatively suppressed.

'Perfect…'  
He had meditated early but something about those last few minutes with Tokuma had rubbed him the wrong way. He thought of meditating before the main house returned and he would have to sneak off to his room or somewhere else. No one bothered him there but he did not want to risk it, not with Hira’s stung pride. He was known for his random power trips and Neji had truly put himself in the line of fire for no reason. Not that any main house member needed a real reason to punish him or any other branch member. The curse mark didn’t come with conditions. They were always looking for someone to punish for their pain, anger, or own power.

Dumb.. he thought, pursing his lips. It was dark and he was tempted to keep it that way, but it felt…strange. His nerves were bothering him all of a sudden. He walked to where he knew the dais would be on his left, faced it and shuffled a little to the right to reach the adjacent closet tucked away. Using touch he located some candles and matches. He placed them in their holders and lit them. a third of the long large room was bathed in soft warm hues. 

'I think I lit too many…;

The dais looked like an altar. Hiashi would be mad he lit all these candles.

Smiling Neji settled on folded legs a few feet from the dais, closing his eyes.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there long enough he felt like he was going to doze off. Music was still going in the background. 

'Couldn’t have been that long…'

The hairs on the back of his neck prickled a little.

'Nope not at all…'

Brow rising he was not in the mood for Tokuma’s return lecture. He heard the dojo door slide open then shut softly with a click somewhere behind him to his right.  
“Listen, I’m not in the mood to hear you tonight…again” He started, not deigning the man with a glance.

'Childish…'

The clan was sucking the life out of him whether he chose to acknowledge that truth or not. He’d fight but he was growing weary. Alone his thoughts had already turned south, despite his outward show of peace. 

“But Neji, you haven’t even heard what I have to say to you.” Neji’s eyes rounded, and his stomach dropped. He kept his eyes ahead, he didn’t dare turn and face the man behind him. He felt his pulse jump a little in his throat.

“Did you think I wouldn’t find you after your little stunt…”the man bit out angrily. “Disrespecting me like that…”he could feel the fire on his back, it burning into his skin calling for apologies and submission,

Despite the nerves running haywire in his body, he kept still, spine straight, exuding confidence and arrogance.

'There’s no way in hell Ill bow to this man…'

He could just about hear those footsteps prowl toward him.

“You did a decent job of avoiding me,” Hira mocked from behind him.

Neji’s eyes twitched, he kept stock still, anticipating the pain of the curse seal. Truthfully, there was no way to prepare for it, but he liked to fool himself into thinking he could brace for it. Just as he fooled himself into thinking he’d have a choice in his permanent end. If you fed a lie to yourself, enough times it would begin to taste like a truth. Right? 

Neji hoped he’d believe it in the end at least…

Neji noticed the man was drawing out the moment.

'Just activate it you piece of shit…' he thought darkly.

His bravado could only last so long with his nerves firing off like this. Just thinking about the days in bed he’d layup after the man had tortured him till he felt his power return was enough to turn his stomach. The phantom pains, the weakness, the nausea, everything he hated that helpless feeling as much as when the seal was activated, it could last from hours to days, weeks even depending on the person, activation time and strength. He recalled the time a four year olds seal had been activated, she’d had a seizure and was partially paralyzed after her small body and contorted and spasmed so violently it disturbed everyone present. Now that he thought about the woman he saw earlier had been present at that time, pregnant.

He even recalled the time when Hiashi popping him in the mouth had not been enough to stop it from running and Hiashi, in a fit, activated his seal. Neji had crumpled to the ground like a marionette doll with its strings cut. Hanabi had been there horrified. She had barely squeaked out a protest before Hiashi’s glare had shut her mouth faster than his fist had Neji’s. Neji’s wanted her to stay quiet so the bastard would release him, her protests now would only prolong his pain. He had been bedridden for four days and nauseous the following week after and that had only been less than a minute of activation. He could recall worse however… 

“Neji-chan..why are you so tense right now?” The man taunted voice singsong. Neji noticed the “chan” after his name, eye twitching in annoyance, the man was mocking his inevitable helplessness, demeaning him subtly with his word choice already. “Am I making you nervous?” The man’s toned dropped, like he was soothing a small child. Neji couldn’t stop his fist from clenching a little in his kimono.

'Kimono…'

He should have taken it off earlier. It would be ruined with his sweat before the night was over.

“You don’t have to be so nervous around me…”the man’s voice had taken on a timbre Neji could not recognize. He felt a hand stroke the crown of his head, as if soothing a terrified child.

“Hira-“ Neji started to protest but was silenced as the man swept his hand down the length of his hair settling on his haunches behind him. Neji felt his stomach tighten.  
He wouldn’t dare…

“Nno” Neji felt himself whisper out trying to move away only for an arm to wrap loosely around him, restraining his left arm to his side. The man’s left leg bending at the knee to cage him in against his chest, the right stretching out comfortably beside Neji’s folded right leg. The man shushed him, returning to petting his hair with his right.

Neji…didn’t like this. He felt vulnerable as he felt that claw admire his thick tresses, lightly finger combing it like Tokuma had earlier. Only now, it didn’t feel intimate, only like a violation.

He felt another protest bubble and pop in his throat as the man, placed a soft kiss to the back of his head, and that hand swept his hair over his left shoulder, revealing the back of his neck and the neck line of his kimono.

“Sshh just relax” the man murmured in his ear, honeyed voice dropping ice down his spine. He was toying with him Neji realized. Making him bear his blind spot and his neck to the man behind him, It was a terrible reminder of the power the man held over him he realized. He felt his right hand slash across the back of his neck, tickling him before it dipped beneath his neckline. The man stroked over his blind spot and Neji couldn’t help but hiss, back arching a little. He squared his shoulders against the silk the man was dragging across his sensitive spot, but he could feel his shoulders drooping despite the tensing of his jaw.

“There you are…” the man uttered in his ear. “That’s better.” The man stopped That other arm wrapped around him then in a parody of an embrace. Neji felt caged, but he refused to show it on his face, his heart was pounding. He hated being restrained. Even then he could feel his breath pick up a little when the man settled his chin on his shoulder, eyeing him from his lashes. His short crop of brown hair tickled Neji’s chin. He was looking at him a way he shouldn’t Neji felt it as surely as he felt that body around him. 

“Hiashi-sama-“ Neji cursed himself for how thick his voice sounded. “If he knew wh-“ again the man silenced, except this time he placed two fingers against his lips, the seal unmistakable.

“What you’re insinuating is awful Neji-chan. I’m hurt, I’d never do that to someone,” Hira spoke in his ear, voice silvery. Neji kept his gaze ahead as he had. He let the implications of what he indicated play out in whatever perverse or innocent way he needed it to in order to get the man off of him. He felt his left hand start petting his arm before sliding up his chest to his throat thumb digging into where Neji knew he could feel his rapid pulse. Neji’s stomach was in knots. He itched to break free of the man but his hands were tied no matter how much he tried to fight it, he knew better. Years of being told not to resist or raise a hand against a main house member flooding through him and firing off synapses that said to hell with that logic, fight, flight or freeze. 

Neji couldn’t make out the real expression of the man, but even if he could he was sure it’d be inscrutable. He felt the man’s fingers trace out the swell of his bottom lip. Knowing he could fight the man off him, or break the hold was torture. Having the strength and the means to do so but not being having the freedom to do so burned him up and froze him all at the same time. Retaliation, raising a hand, the byakugan or even disrespectful eye contact was means for punishment; a branch member had not rights at that point. The main house member had the power and the right to punish them how they saw fit. There was a brutal record of punishments that could be dealt out to make an example out of members without killing them. Neji was afraid to read it.

Sitting here in the man’s clutches, knowing he was playing mind games Neji couldn’t help but think of how foolish he was earlier. Clenching his eyes shut Neji almost flew face first into the step up to the dais when the man pitched him away so suddenly and violently, his hands barely caught himself. 

On hands and knees he turned to look shocked over his shoulder, before getting his wits about him turning to face the man standing in front of him. Legs splayed beneath him and kimono disheveled the man regarded him with distaste lips turned down. The man turned his back to him hands folded behind him, he walked to slowly pace around the edges where candlelight met the shadows fizzling in the dojo. Neji gathered his legs beneath him, shaken by the mixed signals his body was dousing him in and the man across from him. 

“Neji, I want to help you. Keep you out of trouble but that mouth of yours gets you in trouble. Disrespectful and insolent is how many of the main house members including myself describe you as” he paused looking at Neji. “Its insulting to the powers that run this place to hear you run your mouth. It makes those who love the control and the power the system gives them want to punish you. Do you follow me?” he asked, conversational as if he weren’t talking about Neji to his face. Neji remained still looking at the man. He continued.

“They want to reign you in. Any means necessary. They feel Hiashi goes to easy on you lets you slide…”the man turned to regard Neji with his profile,” you argue to no end with your uncle about the way things are. I understand how this whole system works. If the branch were upset with the way things were run they would have already revolted against us-” the man stated matter-of-factly. 

Neji gawked at him, disbelief all over his face. “What are you saying?” he felt himself blurt out. Everyone knew damn well the seal prevented that.

“You all could slit our throats in our sleep. You chose not to because deep down you like the system. Once you are branded, it becomes ingrained in your chemistry to be subservient to us. That’s why you don’t do it. Its hard making decisions, protecting and running the clan, you all have it easy.” Neji stared at him as if he had just grown three heads. He was literally disregarding the very nature and the acts of the curse mark.

“You argue to no end with Hiashi-sama about the branch family. Why? Few others do. You’re ungrateful for what he’s done for you. That fire you have in you, it propels you, pushes you to want more…You speak your mind…how you feel..no filters…”the man trailed off staring at Neji. He dropped his hands straight to his sides, and Neji was reminded how young this man was, around Hiashi’s age. He was taller than his uncle by an inch or two, trim and almost a little lanky in Neji’s opinion, his black yukata fit him well despite that. Looking at this creature Neji wondered how this man could end the life of half the clan singlehandly if he ever felt like it. It was mind boggling.

Finding his voice, “He has the power to change things, he chooses not to, just like the rest of you through silence and inaction” Neji stated darkly.

“There’s that fire..” the man breathed out. “He trains you almost every day, that’s change right there. But you want more, you bark, bite and growl at your chains. It still remains that more would speak up if they truly hated this.”

“They’re scared-“

“But you aren’t.”

Neji shut his mouth.

“Even you to a certain extent are complicit in your own servitude, and yet you still fight.”

'This man is nuts…'

“The curs-“

“I didn’t ask you to speak!” the man roared suddenly. He was volatile suddenly, beginning to flip between extremes in his body language. Meek and then violence. He was shaking, Neji looked at the man, his lips tightening in displeasure. That loosened a chuckle from Hira and the man swiped his hand over his face to the back of his neck. “Even now you still defy my authority, knowing what the seal could do to you…you can’t be extinguished…”

“Earlier,” he started, canting his weight to one hip “I said I would never do something so despicable to someone” he looked at Neji, and Neji could not decipher the look simmering in his eyes.

'What the hell is that look...'

The man swept his thumb across his own forehead “But you are property.”

Neji bolted.

His feet moved so quickly across the wood floor he scarcely felt the cool of the wood against the soles of his feet before he reached the door sliding it only an inch before he had to dodge the hand that darted for his hair. His fingers didn’t even reach the handle of the door again before he was crumpling onto his left side. Muscles locked, throat tight and head on fire, he didn’t even feel his head crack into the wood below when he’d crumpled in a heap. 

“You fight even with the odds stacked against you, that fire… I want it…I want to taste it,” the man breathed out, he gnarled his fingers in a Neji’s hair, dragging him away from the door one handed. Under the pain Neji was shocked at the strength of the man to be dragging him like a rag doll. At this angle he could see up the man’s arm through watering eyes to see the look the man wore as he held his seal in his left hand. It was perverted. Predatory, it had been earlier

“Ever since that day at the chuunin exams, I’ve been transfixed by you” Hira admitted He released the seal, dropping Neji in a panting heap in the glow of the candle light. Neji through the nausea and weakness of his limbs felt like ice had been dropped on him. “even now I’m more enthralled by your strength you didn’t even scream” the man remarked awe and admiration prevalent in his voice.

'Oh my god…'

How could he have? Throat and limbs locked; there was too much pain for him to even vocalize.

“Hearing you announce to that whole stadium, how you felt how fucked up the clan was I was inspired. I thought it was simply bravado because of all those people. But It wasn’t my dear” the man breathed out, crouching to roll Neji onto his back. He flicked his nose as one would a lover “it wasn’t” he whispered out. “You continued years after that, and I could feel myself falling deeper and deeper in love with you. Even now, behind the pain I know you’re cursing me refusing to speak. You’ll never let anything beat you, I want to feel that fire inside of you.”

Neji watched in horror as the man settled between his thighs. Neji weakly tried to close them but the resistance caused the man between them to shudder.

“For years, as my father beat my mother I wanted to have what you have. A voice to speak out against the fear and pain of what he would say he’d do to me if I ever told.” The man was stroking Neji’s thighs, caressing them gently, he parted Neji’s kimono, loosening the belt holding it. Neji watched tears drip slowly down the man’s cheeks.

“Years after his death, I’ve still been afraid,” the man smiled sadly, tracing his hand down Neji’s body, sliding under his kimono to finger at his underwear.

Neji felt dread knot his stomach. The man leaned over him hiking his legs up in the process to help make it easier for him to slide his undergarments off. Neji set his hands weakly up against the man’s chest, pushing through his weakness, Hira knocked one arm down and didn’t bother with the other.

“I wanted to have that fire in me as a youth and now. I let my fear corrupt me. I hurt others to silence my pain, for years because I was angry, ”he squeezed his eyes shut, pain and grief twisting his features. Neji stared in horror, terror causing his lips to part.

“Then I realized, I had that fire all along. I had you, owned you, but I didn’t have you.” He yanked the undergarment from Neji’s lower body, Neji noticing the tingle across his thighs; the man had used chakra to make it easier to rip away. “I can have you now, bury myself inside you till we’re both complete,” he pressed kisses along Neji’s throat, parting his clothing as he went.

“No!” he shrieked out, he scarcely recognized his own voice tearing out of his throat. He tried to twist away but his body weakly responded for tapping out completely when Hira struck him across the face so hard his brain shortened out. Black pulsed around his vision. He knew the man had used chakra; the fact that he wasn’t dead wasn’t a miracle in Neji’s book. Striking his motor cortex like that was a sure way to keep him from struggling. He was dazed, would be even after this encounter. His tongue felt like cotton in his mouth. His head had whipped violently to his left side and he watched idly as the door slowly slid open, his neck hurt.

He felt Hira tense between his legs. “Leave” he snarled. He wrapped his arms around Neji and pulled his limp body up into a protective embrace, Neji’s head lolled into his shoulder.”He’s mine I won’t let you hurt him, none of you” he uttered darkly.

Yuki sighed at him, stepping in and closing the door. “Your sob story was beautiful by the way” he started a smile gracing his lips.

“Piss off, old man. I know what you and the others want to do to him. I will never allow that to happen.” Neji felt him tighten his grip on him, and he felt like he would vomit.  
Others.

Neji hoped he’d choke and die.

A sigh. “I promised my little Toku-chan I’d never violate the poor boy like that” Yuki said, walking in front of them both, before kneeling to their level.

“Lay him down, you’ll suffocate him.” He waited for Hira to comply. The younger man did, setting him back on the ground, his arms flopping uselessly to his sides. “I promised I wouldn’t let him get hurt.and you know I am a man of my word.” Neji closed his eyes, as he felt Yuki gather both his wrists in each hand.

“He won’t,” Hira growled. “I made sure of it, he already told me.”

'Told him..?' he thought. They were bleary but if he widened his eyes from their dazed squint he could see them clearer.

Yuki sighed again, before pulling both of Neji’s arms above his head and pinning them there.

Neji looked up at him in shock, revulsion pushing into his eyes.

“Hias-“ he tried again, tried anything.

“Don’t worry he won’t find out. It’s ok. I’ll make sure he doesn’t leave any visible marks. Him or any others who might come by.” Yuki responded smiling down at him kindly.

Neji felt tears push into his eyes. And then he felt pain.

Hira was moaning between his legs, the head of his cock breaching that first tight ring of muscle. When it was inside him, Hira paused gasping out “Fuck…there’s no way Hiashi has fucked him.” He pushed deeper and Neji felt his jaw cracking in a silent scream.

'I can’t breathe…my breathe won’t leave...' he could barely string the thought together the pain and naseau from the seal activation combining.

He was already gasping, trying pull and expel air from his longs at the same time. Then he felt Hira grip under his knees and slam completely inside of him. Neji couldn’t help the choked cry that cracked out of his throat.

'It hurts…omy god it hurts…I want it out...' his mind was in pain now so was his body

“Fu-fuck, now..we’re one” he moaned again, eyes rolling shut. “I can feel how hot you are inside…it’s amazing..I’ve longed to be inside you like this, showing my love sharing in your strength.” He rocked a little inside of Neji, and Neji felt that length ripping him up even more. Marking him on the inside as the seal had on the outside. 

When he started thrusting into him slowly, Neji bit his lip. Hard. Clenching his eyes shut

'Don’t let them see you cry…don’t…don’t...' he thought desperately. He couldn’t hold back the shattered pants of pain the puffed out between his lips. He opened watery eyes and saw Yuki gazing down at him, a predatory lust in his eyes.

“Don’t be mistaken boy..”Yuki began,” I promised toku-chan I wouldn’t make love to you like Hira is. But I’ve always wanted to see how much of me you could swallow…”the man licked his lips. Neji felt disgusted.

“I want to watch myself disappear down that throat. See myself bulge out of you…”the man paused panting out. “look at you…laying there taking it, you look so good…”  
Neji was about to muster up the strength for an insult when he felt Hira hook his left thigh around his waist, and spread his right leg out of the way with his knee as he wrapped his hands around his throat and squeezed.

Neji’s oxygen cut off like a light, and then Hira struck something inside of him that sent a bolt of pleasure through him.

Yuki kept talking like he didn’t even see the hands around his neck, and from the flush crawling up the throat of the man he knew he was aroused. 

“You walk around everyday, begging for it.” He squeezed Neji’s wrists. “You’re a flame, and you attract moths. Others are waiting to have you withering on their cocks. You could take it too..maybe some at the same time..your mouth..” He flicked his gaze down to where Hira was intimately joined with him.

Hira gave him just a moment to snatch half a breath before he was squeezing and pounding into him as if he wanted to impress Neji’s back to the ground belief the floorboards. He was striking that spot inside of Neji, and a few moans were building in his throat. He felt drool slide from the corner of his mouth eyes slowing rolling up in ecstasy.

His mind screamed in anger at the betrayal of his body. Pain and disgust heightening the pleasure, pleasure sedating the small sparks of pain radiating through his body.

He was choking the life out of him and alternating enough for him to only catch a breath interrupted by a choked moan before squeezing again. Neji prayed he’d squeeze to hard and crush his windpipe.

But that’d be too easy. 

He felt disgusting feeling the man inside him. He knew he was doing it on purpose. This twisted love was nothing more than another means to ensure control over him, that he had no control over anything not even his body. Giving his body that sick pleasure…Neji could feel how wet he was, his body was straining for release.

Another squeeze and the world blackened , color fizzling out, he felt the man pound inside him twice thrice more before he felt him cum inside, pressed deeply so none spilled out of him.

'I can’t hold it…'

Neji felt himself cum at the feel of it, eyes rolling back in his head, toes curling. It was intense and he could feel himself falling into the blackness of unconsciousness.  
'Good…take me..please...'

Before being submerged in black he couldn’t help but hear a voice fizzle through…

“I’m not done with you yet…”

He didn’t know who said it but he could still feel how Hira’s cock was still hard inside of him.  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
He awoke cold, alone, in pain and sticky on his stomach. The candles had been blown out and the dojo doors drawn open. Neji felt terror seize him, anyone could have walked by and saw him, the moon looked like it was only straddling the midway point between the highest point and the middle of the sky, he could just barely make it from his position on the floor. It had tops maybe only been an hour.

He pushed himself to his hands and knees, arms juddering with the strain of pushing his tired body up, nausea crawled through his gut. He felt disgusting. He assessed his network, fingers moving to undo whatever Hira had done. That took all his strength and he collapsed back to the floor. A sob lodging in his throat.

 

'Get up..get out of here..get up..get out of here...' he repeated this mantra in his head.

He didn’t know how long it took him to rise shakily to his feet. He didn’t see his underwear as he stumbled out of the dojo, pain wracking his body with each step. He could still hear music…

'They…don’t even know…what just happened to me…' distress and disbelief filling his mind.

Neji felt rage build he didn’t know what to do with, and an aching sadness. Some branch members dealt with this horror everyday, Neji realized hand coming up to cover his mouth, yanking it away at the feel of the stickiness of it. He was running before he knew it, to his room, the bathroom. Away.

He didn’t even know what all had happened to him. Running he caught a flash of Hiashi, Hinata and Hanabi, smiling; Hanabi making both her father and sister dance with her. The main family was already back. His absence wasn’t even long enough to warrant his uncle to send somebody to look for him if the slight dampness of Hinata’s kimono was anything to go by. It was still dripping around her feet lightly. He realized in disbelief, all of what happened to him could have probably happened in under an hour. That as a maximum period of time, he’d already guessed early they’d be back after an hour. It had felt like hours. Like the sun would be coming up by the time they finished with him…

In a daze Neji, felt himself float down toward his room. He didn’t even remember stopping in his room to grab a black yukata before he was peeling off his ruined kimono. Dropping it without a glance . He didn’t want to see it, his eye caught the mirror as he passed to step into the shower.

'I’m in shock...' he realized distantly.

He didn’t even remember turning the shower on, steam filling the room. The water would probably burn his skin. He hoped it’d burn it off distractedly. Looking in the mirror he looked haunted already. He knew this was probably far from the end. He’d have to kill them to make this abuse stop. He couldn’t. Not without his life coming to an abrupt end he couldn’t allow that, allow them to win.

'They always…win….'

He clawed at his skin, pulling at his sticky hair, scrubbing his mouth, he couldn’t take his own expression breaking in the mirror.

Darting under the scalding hotness of the shower, his skin turned red immediately. Even if he did follow Hira’s solution and slit their throats, it would do nothing to change the fact that he could still feel his cock inside of him, or find out if others had joined in to traumatize his body, take his control of himself away.

'I won’t... give them the satisfaction of seeing me…'

He knew he would be fucked up by this, tormented every day. They’d done that to him in the dojo he trained to become better in.

He’d do something with his pain. That same bitter pill he forced himself to swallow daily, he’d swallow it with the blood-

'Swallow…?'

He’d shoved his fingers down his throat before he fully formed the thought. He didn’t know. His throat felt sore after vomiting, but he wouldn’t risk anything being in his stomach. He bathed and bathed even though he felt like hopping in bleach. He donned his black yukata and schooled his expression. It was all he could do to keep from falling a part.

He felt himself walk out of the compound, after burning his kimono. he knew where he was going, to Lee’s house.

He would overcome this…he would…but he didn’t know how yet…he didn’t know where to start picking up his pieces knowing they’d be smashed to pieces again.  
He itched for blood. To feel theirs on his hand.

Damn it all he’d at least make those two drink it…he wouldn’t need to slash their throats to make them taste it. 

It wouldn’t change what happened to him…what he knew would, should he fail either way, but it was a fucking start. He wanted to watch the life fade from them. They wanted his fire he’d burn them to hell with it.

He felt a darkness he had failed to keep down for years hug tight against his body along with the pain, the fear. His expression was heartbreakingly empty, void of the fires they had just fanned to hellacious fury. As Lee opened, the door to him bleary eyed.

Neji knew he probably looked catatonic he tried to change his expression. 

He couldn’t; not feeling so tumultuous inside. So torn up and down and through the center.

But he did it he felt mustered a straight face. 

He didn’t even know, how he looked in reality, like he was in pieces put together with tape.

He could not live in any more fear, not a fear like this, that fed the anger. He would not shut his mouth for them.

He would find a way to shut theirs permanently. Even if it took him forever. He’d bathe in their blood one day and laugh.

Fear corrupts.


End file.
